Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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