so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
