thus making me awesome and them whores
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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