WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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