I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
