At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
