Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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