i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
