God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
