She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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