We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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