I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
