i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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