no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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