i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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