You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
how drunk are you?
Several
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
