did i walk over a car last night?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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