He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
