It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
