I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She's JV to your varsity
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
