oh god the rape fog is back!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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