you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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