I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
