just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
