my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
