AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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