Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
