Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
