You work out of a Hotel?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
