from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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