omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
