I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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