they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
