So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
