that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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