if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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