Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
