I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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