does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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