i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
