Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
