so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
send nudes
from the living room?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
