you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I can't put those talents on a resume
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
