I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
