that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
