the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
