happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
