I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
this boner is exhausting
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Im part way to drunk.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
