okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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