Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
